“After you get married, you are no longer my son” A heartfelt open letter from a mother to her son


A mother has dedicated an open letter to her son who recently got married and we can all learn a thing or two from it. The letter goes as follows:

Dear son,

I know this letter may come as a surprise to you, but I think I can express my thoughts clearly if I write them down.

A few days ago, I heard you quarreling with your wife. I was surprised at what she said but it made me realize something crucial. She said, “Ever since your mother came to stay with us, you have become lazy, expecting her to do everything for you and you’re not lifting a finger to help around the house. You’ve become a giant baby!”

You got angry at this and the pair of you started to argue. I admit I was hurt when I first heard it but your wife is right, if I was in her situation I would complain as well. You’ve only been married a week and I wanted to take care of you until you settled down. I think it’s about time I take my leave of you two, I’m going home tomorrow. Your father and I plan to travel and see the world together. Before I leave, here are three things I need you to know.

1. After you’re married, you are no longer my son.

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Don’t be surprised at this because in my heart you will always be my little boy. The reality is that you have a family of your own now and you should learn to put them first beyond anything.

Remember when we went to Mongolia for holiday and your face lit up when you saw a baby lamb? You wanted to pet it so much but the mother lamb would not let her baby go. We were once as inseparable as them but sooner or later, the lamb will grow up and the mother would leave her child.

You are 28 now and it’s about time you left the next and create one of your own. It’s about time you fill your home with your own happy memories. Your wife is your family now.

2. Remember to always love and support your wife and child.

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When I gave birth to you, you were no bigger than the size of both my palms and I thought you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I was perpetually tired because during the day, your father would leave for work and I had to take care of you and do the house chores as well.

I was exhausted all the time and took out my frustrations on your father, he was my personal punching bag. Your father was patient and whenever he came home from work he would not let me lift a finger.

Your wife will go through the same thing and you must remember to play an active role in taking care of your child. But remember to love your wife along the way. Speaking from experience, happy parents raise happy children.

3. After marriage, your wife is your family. 

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When I was in university, a professor had us all written a list of ten people who were important to us. We wrote the names of our best friends, parents, siblings and partners. Then he told us to make another list but this time only with 9 people so we had to cross one name out. He asked us to keep doing this some people were on the verge of tears after crossing out a few of their family members.

He then said, the one person you should have left on the list is your partner. Your parents will not live forever and your siblings, friends and children would go on to have families of their own. The only person who you can count on to be by your side in your old age is your husband or wife.

Your father and I can take care of ourselves and we’ll be here if you need us, but it’s time for you to prioritize your own family now.

Image for illustration purpose only. (Credit: Pexels)


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